Hooked on Phonics.

Last night I was helping the K-Princess with her reading homework when it occurred to me that maybe I need Hooked on Phonics. Have you ever actually tried to teach a child to make the "th" sound? Have you ever seen child's exaggerated facial movements when you, lost, but searching for a way to explain the unexplainable, try to "show" them how to pronounce a sound? It is priceless! Tongue stuck out, cheeks puffed up... I think my DixieVixen thinks I might have a screw or two loose sometimes, which I do (but I've vested years of my life trying to overcome these obstacles....You know, the ones like "I'm always right", "it's not a big deal to me, let it go", "well, if you didn't do this, then..." - the typical male mental maladies!). Hence I digress... So, there I was, sitting on the couch with our beleaguered puppy "the urinator" vying for my affection while I attempt to explain the intricacies of the long vowel to the K-Princess. An occasional glance from the DixieVixen gets me thinking that it must be abundantly clear to any on-lookers (which would be her and the dog with the most fragile bladder on the planet) that it may be I, in fact, that is taking the reading lesson. I do know that the humor factor in watching me, a, no, the Original Pseudo Intellect trying to teach a child to read must be stupendous! I have learned that home-schooling is not an option in the Mummy household. I pay taxes and they need to teach my children to read because when the ManChild is parroting every word his big sister reads while the Urinator improves the quality of our carpeting, a cat decides that my slightly enlarged belly is the single greatest location on Earth for a nap, and there is a sporting event being televised, clearly, I do not possess the faculties to get the job done.

If you don't believe me, just try to teach a child to pronounce "hooked" without using a "t" sound at the end. I love school...