Quizically curious...

Today, I sit and wonder what tomorrow will bring. Will tomorrow be a new beginning? Has my new beginning already begun and I just haven't come to terms with it? My heart tells me one thing one minute, in complete unison with my brain. The next minute they are in complete contrast.

I am scared.

I am confused.

I am content and I am anxious.

I am at peace, yet prone to unanticipated termoil.

I am in touch and out of touch.

I am alive.

I feel.

Saints are born to this world human. They are born man and woman. It is what they do with their lives that defines the true specialty of their existance. Humans, you see, are born with one thing that is the greatest gift, or curse, of their very being: free choice. You can see a stranger in need of assitance and choose to do nothing, or you can stop and take the time to help. You can forgive and love again, or you can be bitter and resent someone who may have hurt you. You can make a choice. We do it everyday. We live with it forever. Now, that doesn't seem entirely fair now, does it?

Why didn't we get a manual for this? You get a manual in ten languages when you buy a freaking DVD player! You get a manual to teach you the rules of the road so that you can get your driver's license. You get a manual outlining the company policies when you start a new job. But, a manual for the heart? "You figure it out." You're on your own there partner! Good luck!

Yeah, we make choices everyday. Some are easy and some are hard. The easy ones never bother us. It's those tough decisions....damn, they seem to get you, don't they? "If it was easy, everyone would be doing it."

We live and we learn. We take some pretty hard doses of reality in this crazy roller coaster ride called life, don't we? I, for one, would prefer to learn from other people's mistakes. Makes sense to me, you get to spare yourself the pain and heartache. But, I digress, it is learning from mistakes that can be the single biggest tool in finding true happiness. If you learn from your mistakes you prevent something you did from becoming the defining moment, or action, in who you are. Mistakes can become something you did once, or something that defines you. It's only a lesson if you learn from it. It's up to you and, unfortunately, there isn't a manual to tell you what the next step is. You have to figure that out on your own. Isn't that a hoot?

Free choice is a bitch...